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A few months ago I was diagnosed with depression (which had already been going on for a quite a while). I have had depression before in my life once when I was younger, but it was never this extreme. While at university I distanced myself from everyone and stopped going to lectures.

I have come home for the summer holidays which I have to say has been a terrible experience. My home life is not an easy one (I’ve experienced things people shouldn’t have to) and being able to go to university to get away was great even if my depression took a turn for the worse.

While home my depression which I was starting to defeat got worse and worse. I started to distance myself even more from people and found myself very alone. I don’t belong in this house and can’t stand being here but at the same time being around people outside makes me anxious. I feel trapped. Everything feels so hopeless.

I received lots of text messages and calls from people but would never pick up or reply. I received worried messages from friends and messages from friends I hadn’t spoken to for over a year. The other day I finally decided to reply to one of the persistent texters. I told her things weren’t good. After that I received a voice-mail from another friend. In the voice-mail he said him and the girl were worried.

Today I have again received a lot of messages from a lot of different people. Today has been another terrible day but each time I received a text message it let me know someone is out there thinking of me. And for once I didn’t feel so alone.

It made me think back to university when one day I managed to go to a lecture and how people I had spoken to a little the semester before still remembered me and came to talk to me. It made me not feel so insignificant. I thought about all the times recently that someone brightened up my day without realizing,even if it was something small like a hello, and how supportive my friends have been even when I’ve pushed them away.

Then I remembered when I was little. In movies or tv shows every time the main character was in trouble a group of people would save them. The main character would always have such great friends that would always be there for them. They would go on a journey were they would meet a great group of people, learn something that they already knew and then return home with a new found confidence. As a child I always wanted to go on an adventure like that, to have an incredible group of friends like that and to learn something even if I already knew it.

Of course I learnt life doesn’t work like that and found the older I got the further and further away those fairytale dreams of mine became. I learnt to not rely on people and that noone in life will be there to take care of you. This world is harsh and I got sick of it. Why should I exist in such a cruel world. I’d rather be dead…at least I thought.

But, as I receive another text message I scroll through all the messages I’ve been sent and I realise I was wrong. I am on my own adventure, it’s not as easy as the ones In those movies I remember as a child, but this is life. I do have an amazing group of friends around me and I have learnt something. Like in those movies its something that has always been there, something I just never noticed. Something so so simple. As corny as it sounds it’s my friendships and bonds.

So here’s the end of my long babbling; whether you are suffering from depression or not, there really is someone out there thinking of you, you are not alone and you are a significant person to someone. I know these things are hard to see but it’s true. You just cant see it. So reach out. Sometimes you might get knocked down but maybe someone is reaching out towards you too. So reach out

And to people who have a friend in need, or maybe a friend they haven’t seen in a long time, or maybe someone you saw yesterday, why not drop them a text. You might just save someone’s life.


A world for me

A picture I drew to incorporate in the ethereal workshop logo, I filled it with lot’s of things I likes 🙂 majoritly food haha. Not my greatest colouring. Look I even featured the octopus I’m selling.

While procrastinating from my Japanese revision I came across these tasty photos from my last trip to Wag’s while flicking through my camera. If only learning Japanese was like a trip to wagamama’s; easy and tasty.


ImageAnd here’s my favourite, the katsu curry:


New Etsy shop release :D Octopus Amigurumi!

My newest (and only) item in my etsy shop, there’s only one so get it while you can 🙂